MELISSA STEFANSKI: Getting to Know Me

Hello and welcome to Know-Stress-Zone.com . My name is Melissa Stefanski. I've been that shy kid for as long as I can remember. During parent-teacher meetings, my teachers would always describe me as "a good student but very quiet and timid." I think to this day, others would describe me as "quiet." It's strange because I never think of myself that way. I guess I do not think I'm quiet because there's a continuous stream of conversation / thoughts / songs / etc. going through my head all day long. I just do not notice that I turned inward, not offering up my voice to t hose around me.

I never liked group activities at school or presentations in front of the class. I still get nervous when I'm called upon at meetings. I'm not usually the first one to speak up. I tend to worry easily and feel the worry throughout my entire body. I remember thinking that stress and anxiety were just a part of my life and that I needed to accept them. I thought maybe my genetic makeup was stacked against me and there was no changing what the genes had dictated.

At some point, I can not really remember when, I decided if I could not beat stress maybe I could join it. I decided to learn all I could about stress so I could manage it instead of managing it! Maybe some people are wired to be more sensitive. Maybe some people have had events in his or her life to encourage wanting to hide away. But, so what? Resigning to feel stressed or anxious is only one option. Another option is to do the best with what you have. That's what I decided to do for myself.

Stress will never magically disappear, but we can get to know stress. Kind of like keeping your friends close and your enemies closer. I'd call stress a "frienemy." I'm keeping stress close, studying it's every move. I'm learning about my reactions to stressful situations and coping differently now.

Feeling as though I have some control over stress diminishes stress!

After all, stress stems from a perception of something being out of our control.

Am I an expert on stress? I would call myself a lifelong learner of stress. Have I figured out ways of managing stress that work? YES! I encourage you to get to know stress and get to know what helps you manage stress.

If you are willing to work on this, you will feel better. There may not be a particular day when you think, "Yea! I've managed stress." But, one day you'll think, "I'm not sure when this happened, but things just feel better."

As for more boring information about me, I received a Bachelor of Science degree (1996) in Psychology with a minor in Biochemistry from McGill University in Montreal, Canada and a Master of Arts degree (1998) in Counseling Psychology and currently working on my PhD (2021). I am a certified hypnotherapist through the National Guild of Hypnotists. My experience includes over 20 years of individual and group counseling and behavioral programming.

Over the years, I have worked in various settings including inpatient substance abuse rehabilitation centers, behavioral programming treatment facilities, and mental health counseling centers for individual therapy.

I reside in South West Florida but have lived in various regions of Canada and the US I have learned, and continue to learn, about stress and stress relief every day. I always appreciate stress relief tips I receive from others. So, I will share whatever stress management knowledge comes my way.

I like experimenting with many different stress relief strategies, depending on the situation and what's happening in my life. The more tools the better! Please visit Know-Stress-Zone.com often as I'm always adding new tips and insights as I learn of them.

Stay in the (k) now,
Melissa Stefanski

P.S.: When you subscribe to my newsletter, The Know Stress Press , you'll immediately receive my free Learn Self-Hypnosis course, Stress Management Course, Mellow Moments, and access to my self-care membership site!

Ted Stefanski

Greetings, and thank you for visiting. My name is Ted Stefanski (Melissa’s Husband!).  I am proud to be a part of, not only a website, but a cause.  I am no stranger to depression and anxiety.  I was diagnosed with Bipolar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and a “mild” case of Tourette’s. I feel as though I am a good complement to Melissa’s project because of my challenges.  She offers a professional and clinical perspective and course of action. Whereas I am a living example of someone who battles psychological disorders on a daily basis.  The good news is that now I have more great days than bad ones.

I am so pleased to be a part of this and to share my story.  I also believe that levity is such an important part of mental health management.  For those Muppets fans, I joke with Melissa and tell her that I am her Beaker and she is my Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

As for my professional background, I have worn many hats.  I am a graduate of Fordham University with a degree in economics.  I have worked in trading operations and fund accounting for a well-known financial services company. I was a landscaper, a baggage handler in the airline industry, a third shift worker unloading freight for a major home improvement company, an entrepreneur who started multiple businesses from nothing, and a real estate investor and agent. I am currently self-employed as a derivatives trader. I need to catch my breath after that…

I have realized that stress will always be a part of everyone’s life.  I believe we can learn to ebb and flow with it – to become practitioners of “Mind Judo.” 

Welcome to our stress relief family.