Embracing Obstacles: 9 Steps to Keep Your Emotions in Check

Embracing Obstacles seems very counter-intuitive. Obstacles suck...don't they? Most people don’t like obstacles. That makes sense. After all, when you’ve got a goal that you’re trying to accomplish, the last thing you want or need is something standing in your way.  Obstacles seem to make us stand still. They keep us from getting where we want to go. They cause us to lose whatever momentum we’ve built up. In worst-case scenarios, they become the roadblocks standing in the way of allowing us ever to get there at all.

Define the emotions you’re feeling, then wait for them to calm. Knowing whether you’re sad, or angry, or frustrated will help you to find that calm place faster, as you would address each emotion differently. For example, ask yourself what you’re angry at if you are indeed angry. If you’re sad, accept the sorrow as being a natural part of the disappointment of meeting something that keeps you from your goal.

As challenging as it might be, don’t try to rush through the feeling or push it down. The best way to use this setback as fodder for out-of-the-box thinking is to embrace the emotion, no matter what it is. Own it and feel it in your body. Once you feel it’s settled, you’re ready to move on. This process may take an hour, a day, or a week, depending on how major the project and how substantial the complication.

Embracing Obstacles:
2. Accept Where You Are At the Moment (a.k.a.: Resisitance Is Futile)

Realize obstacles happen. The more you fight them, the worse they’re going to seem. Like standing in quicksand, the sooner you come to accept the situation, the better it’s going to go for you. It’s the struggle that pulls you down. So, take a minute to tell yourself this is a natural and healthy part of the process. Remember, the emotions you’re feeling are legitimate and real. It’s where you are, right now, at this moment, but the feeling won’t last forever.

 

Embracing Obstacles:
3. Flip the Switch

Next, take a step back and look at the obstacle from an outside point of view. That means looking at it as if you were a stranger standing on the outside of your life looking in. What would they see right now? Question your assumptions to find a unique solution.

After acknowledging the emotions of the moment, choose to let them go. It’s time to switch over to the logic side of your brain, where you store wisdom and experiences. That’s where you’re able to process what just happened and consider your options.

Embracing Obstacles:
4. Get Creative

Here’s where a little flexibility is going to go a long way. Start examining the alternatives. Be as creative as possible and don’t discount anything offhand for being too silly. Sometimes it’s those silly ideas that are going to get you thinking along a different path entirely. Sure, it’s normal to feel some disappointment at this point. Chances are you had your path all planned out. But when you consider all the new possibilities, it’s easy to get excited about trying something new. Use this energy to fuel you toward the next step.

Embracing Obstacles:
5. Embrace the Lesson

Every obstacle holds something from which you can learn. Ask yourself what you gained in facing the roadblock. How are you looking at the world differently? What can you share with those around you about your experience? When you cannot only ask these questions but also answer them, you’re discovering the meaning in the encounter. You haven’t wasted your experience, and even roadblocks can hold a purpose.

As the saying goes: When you lose, don't lose the lesson!

I know...I know. I don't want to hear this, either. It's the only helpful option, though. The alternative is to remain stuck, and that sucks even more than trying to learn something from the current not-so-great situation.

Embracing Obstacles:
6. Break Things Down Into Mini-Steps

This may sound defeatist, but I've always found it helpful to set the bar low for myself. I set the bar so low that I'm bound to be successful!  Frequently our problem with obstacles starts with trying to take on too much at once. In moving forward, re-examine the goal you were trying to accomplish. How can you break down your goal into smaller steps? By focusing on these more modest goals, you’ll find it easier to move ahead. Also, you won’t be quite so overwhelmed by the big picture.

Embracing Obstacles:
7. Admit You're Human

Everyone makes mistakes. By permitting yourself to fail, you’ll accept obstacles sometimes occur due to human error. In some ways, these feel like the worst sorts of obstacles because it’s easy to get caught up in a negative thinking spiral when this happens. You might even start questioning your abilities and wind up wanting to give up on your goal altogether.

Here’s where it becomes crucial to keep things in perspective. By acknowledging you are only human after all, you’re able to admit when you are wrong and to move on. What’s more, you’ll be better able to accept when you make mistakes again in the future, because after all, you will. We all do.

 

Embracing Obstacles:
8. Reconsider the Goal

Oftentimes, we have to fire and then aim...if that makes sense. It's always better to do somethings than to do nothing. Chances are, however, that we won't hit the mark perfectly straight out of the gate. I really hate that! But, it can be helpful to take action towards a goal and readjust, as needed. I call this making successive approximations towards the goal. 

In the end, it might be the obstacle was connected to what you were trying to accomplish in the first place. It might be the goal either wasn’t well thought out or isn’t what you needed to do in the first place. It might be time to consider the original premise all over again. Is this obstacle trying to tell you something?

Sometimes the obstacle comes because you’d made a shift in what you were trying to do. Have you somehow changed your goal midstream? It might be you need to rethink your plan of attack entirely. When this happens, your obstacle has instead become an opportunity to move in a direction that suits your purposes better.

Embracing Obstacles:
9. Celebrate!!!

It might seem odd to be thinking about celebrations when talking about obstacles but consider this: When you celebrate your accomplishments, you embrace the journey you’ve been on, barriers and all. Even if you’ve stalled out completely, you can celebrate the progress you made and the work you put into the project. These are all worth getting excited about, and the emotions here are worth embracing.

Then when the party is over, ask yourself where you want to go from here. Make choosing a new goal part of the celebration. That’s also something to get excited over.

As a note, you should never have to do hard things alone. When you’re facing an obstacle, it’s okay to ask for help. Mentors and support systems are integral to the process of working your way through difficulties. The benefit of a mentor is clear: They’ve very likely been in this position before, and have the wisdom and insight to lead you through to the next stage of development.

Support systems are made up of those friends, co-workers, and relatives who can act as the bulwark to shore you up when you feel like you’re falling flat on your face. This group should only ever be made up of people who support you wholeheartedly. That’s not to say they’re all cheerleaders or "yes-men." A sound support system is willing to speak up when they see you heading in what they perceive to be a wrong direction. They’re also there to encourage you and to remind you why you’re working toward this goal in the first place.

Finally, don’t discount professional help where it’s needed. If you find you’re having trouble separating your emotions from the process, you might need a little bit of help in working things through. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice from a counselor or medical professional if you find you’re overwhelmed and unable to proceed.

Embracing Obstacles:
...and another thing...Success Takes Longer Than You Think!!!

Big Goals.

Large visions for your life.

Any major success you want to obtain…

Is probably going to take a lot longer than you anticipate when you start the journey.

It’s just human nature.

We get a good idea about something we want to be, do, have and the idea captures our minds and emotions. The honeymoon phase is awesome. Daydreaming and brainstorming of your exciting new idea and the world of possibility that will open up once you reach this new goal.

You are energized and ready to take on the world.

If you are new to this game, I’m sorry to tell you but you have a mountain ahead of you. And no one has ever successfully scaled a mountain quickly and easily.

Sure, from a distance, the mountain may not look that big. It looks like fairly smooth terrain and a manageable grade when you stare at the mountain from a few miles away. You excitedly sprint to your starting point.

That’s when the work begins and within a very short period of time, reality starts to sink in at the difficulty and struggle that awaits you.

MOST people don’t make it far enough up the mountain to be invested in the journey. They quit early enough that the pain of investment isn’t harsh enough. The sting of quitting isn’t harsh enough.

However, if the goal at the summit of your mountain is something that you REALLY want… and you have enough reasons to get there (and enough reasons not to quit), then your first mission becomes the “investment phase”.

You have to put in enough blood, sweat and tears to reach a point where turning around and quitting would be more painful that continuing.

Once you reach this point, you gain a whole new perspective on life. The struggle doesn’t go away, but it takes on a new form. You find a sort of peace and “sense of knowing” during your struggle. You know you will make it to your goal… you just don’t know how long it will take. But it almost doesn’t matter because you no longer count the cost. You are focused purely on the journey.

This is an easy metaphor to understand but it applies to anything in life.

Make a point to first be the kind of person who dreams, has big visions and gives yourself the permission to set major goals.

 Then, make CERTAIN you stay with it long enough that turning around is no longer an option.

 Even though it will likely take far longer than you think to reach your peak.

 

Embracing Obstacles and More Brain Hacks