Lack of Self-Esteem & The Negativity Virus
Lack of self-esteem can be exacerbated by the negativity virus. This virus is real and zaps your energy!
We all have people in our lives that act as cheerleaders and who are great for our self-esteem. We also often have people around us who bring us down. Or maybe it's a particular place or situation that makes you feel inadequate or self-conscious. It's important to be aware of these people, places, and situations that will bring you down. When you know who and what they are, you can guard against them and if possible avoid them.
Lack of self-esteem:
BECOME AWARE OF THE NEGATIVE ENERGY
Your self-confidence takes the biggest hit when you are unaware of the person or situation you're walking into. When you feel blind-sided, it hurts, it and it's hard to recover and rebuild your self-esteem and courage. I like to think of how these people, places, and situations affect us as negative energy. Your first task is to become aware of this negative energy and realize where it's coming from before it hits you. By simply being aware you avoid being surprised. Try it.
Lack of self-esteem:
GUARD AGAINST NEGATIVITY
Once you are aware of what or who is bringing you down, you can start to guard against it. The basic idea is to neutralize the negative energy that's being send your way. One of my favorite ways of doing this is to expect it going in and realizing what's causing it. For example, if your cousin always gives you a hard time about your weight, it may help to realize that she's putting you down because she's not happy with her own life. If you feel judged at a local club by a group of people, it helps to know that they may be doing it to make themselves feel better. Realizing this going in will go a long way towards neutralizing things. Of course another way to guard yourself is to do what you can avoid interacting with the people that bring you down and of course avoiding the places and situations that make you feel bad.
Lack of self-esteem:
ADJUST YOUR LIFE AS NEEDED
Adjust your life as needed until you feel more confident and
courageous. Avoiding people, places, and situations that will bring you
down is always an option. If you know a conversation with your sister
will make you feel less confident, or you feel judged when going to a
certain bar or club, avoid those people and places for now. I'm not
saying you have to cut them out indefinitely. Instead, take a break and
focus on building up your confidence and your self-esteem. When you're
ready, you can go back to spending time with those people or hanging out
at those places and see how it goes. Often the experience is completely
different for you when you approach it in a confident manner.
Lack of self-esteem:
NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
Be On The Lookout
This is why it's important to always be on the lookout for negative self-talk. Often we let it go on without realizing what we're doing. We can't take control of it unless we start to notice it. Start monitoring those internal monologues for negative thoughts so you can spot them quickly and deal with them appropriately.
Give It A Name
Start by giving a name and personality to that negative voice in your head. Call it the nag, the critic, or whatever name feels right to you. Don't be afraid to make it a silly name. It will help you take a lot of the power and influence that little voice in your head currently has right out of it. It will also help you to quickly notice what's going on and stop it. "There goes Bob again!"
Put It In Perspective
Things are always worse in our head, aren't they? That's why we think when we do something embarrassing it seems so much worse than when someone else does it. That's why it's important to put that conversation that's going on in your head into perspective. Instead of blowing up the negative and thinking that you ruined your relationship or career because of one little blunder or embarrassing moment, bring it down to what it really was: you said something stupid, or spilled coffee all over yourself in front of someone important. Here are some ideas for putting things into perspective:
- Imagine if this happened to someone else: Would you think it was a big deal?
- Look around you. Are people laughing or looking outraged? If you don't get a huge reaction, it wasn't that big of a deal.
- Talk it through with a good friend. They'll help you put it into perspective.
- Put a positive or at least neutral spin on it. At least you were memorable or no one will think about this next week.
Condition Yourself With A Rubber Band
If you're struggling to catch the negative self-talk early and spiral down into negative thoughts instead before you can catch it, there's a quick trick you can use to get into the habit of catching it early quickly. The main thing is to make yourself stop as soon as you realize that negative self-talk has taken hold. A quick way to do that is to use a rubber band. Put it around your wrist (make sure it's not too tight), and as soon as you catch the negative self-talk, snap the rubber band. It won't take long before you will notice the negative self-talk as soon as it starts and you won't need to use the rubber band again.
Lack of Self-Esteem:
BONUS INJECTION OF GOOD STUFF
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